Getting Back with an Ex

If you are thinking about getting back together with your ex, part of you may have some nagging doubts and concerns about whether you're making the right decision, and you may be uncertain whether to risk it or simply to walk away. If you do choose to make up and get back together however, there are a number of steps you should consider following to avoid the risk of future hurt.

Step One: Think About Why You're Getting Back Together

The first, and most important, step is to take some time to think about why you want to get back together. Do you simply want to get back together because you're jealous of other people taking an interest in your ex? Have either of you been dumped by your new partner and are now looking for a bit of comfort? Is it simply because you miss being a couple with them, even though you know deep down they're not right for you or that they treated you badly in the past?

If you're getting back together, it's essential that you make sure it's for the right reasons; that you truly believe that you are right and good for each other.

Step Two: Acknowledge the Reasons for Breaking Up

Many couples get so caught up in the heart-stopping, breath-taking moment of making up that they forget the reasons they broke up in the first place. It can be very easy to be so happy and excited that you are a couple again that you assume that all the problems that caused the initial break-up have just disappeared. Unless you both take a good hard look at the issues and obstacles that forced you to split last time, then you're both simply papering over the cracks. The same cracks will probably emerge once the second honeymoon period is over.

Step Three: Agree Any Changes

Once you and your partner have talked over and acknowledged what went wrong the last time you were together, then it's a good idea to make an agreement of what changes will be made and how you will improve your relationship to prevent these issues from destroying the relationship again.

When you've made these arrangements - stick to them! Many couples make agreements when they first get back together but soon forget them and quickly slip back into their old routine and habits, which, if you remember, simply did not work. If you do not respect and follow the new arrangements, you will find yourselves arguing about the same issues all over again.

Step Four: Take Things Slowly

If the two of you have agreed to get back together, then it's essential that you're both committed to giving your relationship another chance. However, once you are committed, don't feel that you have to rush into things; after all, you've both promised to be together for the long term.

Making up after a long separation can be very tricky, you may have to start again almost from scratch. Do something romantic for one another as often as possible to rekindle the feelings and reasons you fell in love in the first place. Go out on dates and get to know each other again. Always remember what caused you to separate in the first place and avoid getting into those situations again.