Ending a Relationship

Most of us at some point have been faced with the stomach-churning decision of breaking up with someone that we may still care about deeply. Ending a relationship is always difficult and there's usually a huge temptation to postpone the moment, as you will be feeling terribly guilty, and even just thinking of saying those shattering words 'I'm sorry, but it's over' will fill you with dread. However, if the relationship isn't working for you any more, and you've realised that you'd be happier without your partner than with them, then you'll just have to face up to it and do the decent thing.

Ending It

Any break-up should be dealt with face to face - this is not the time for an e-mail, or worse still, a text. Although this may be difficult for you, it is much fairer to them and ultimately more dignified for both of you. Make sure that you give them a little warning before you meet to prepare the way beforehand, something like "We need to talk". Meet up in a public place, but make sure you choose somewhere quiet and discreet rather than a noisy bar on a Saturday night. It's important that you give them the opportunity to retain some dignity out of all this - the golden rule is to keep reminding yourself of how you'd feel and how you'd 'like' to be dumped.

Some people might try the cowardly approach of ignoring their calls and texts until they eventually get the message. However, this is not to be recommended, just think how you would feel if the roles were reversed - wouldn't you rather hear the truth, no matter how upsetting, rather than wondering what was happening?

Closure

Whatever the actual words you use, they should be left in absolutely no doubt that it is over. Be clear in what you're saying, don't be wishy-washy or they may think that there is hope that you can get back together. If you are positive that it has to end, then don't let them persuade you to change your mind.

Make them feel as good as you can (without confusing the issue) and tell him that they're a great girl/guy for someone, but just not for you. There's no need to be cruel, but you must be firm - "I really care about you, but I'm not getting what I need out of this relationship" or something similar. Make sure that you give them closure - it will help them move on.