Starting a New Relationship
If you are about to embark on a new relationship there are a number of things you should bear in mind, especially if you've been hurt in the recent past. Have a read though our top five tips to starting over again to find out the best way of handling your re-launch onto the dating scene.
1. Make Sure You're Ready to Move On
Going through a break-up is often compared to suffering a bereavement due to the need to go through the same stages of grieving. These five stages are:
- denial
- anger
- bargaining
- depression
- acceptance
Make sure that you are able to accept support where it is offered and see each stage for what it is: simply a step that you will be able to work through. When you have worked through the grieving process and are ready to move on, it's important to try and leave those feelings behind you; although they are part of who you are, they are also part of your past.
2. Learn From Your Past
Before you move on to a new relationship, you should take some time to think about the positive and negative aspects of your previous relationship.
- What were the parts that really worked?
- What made you happy?
- What made you unhappy?
- Where did it start to go wrong?
- Would you be able to spot the warning signs if it happened again?
Although it's not possible to prevent future hurt and heartache, it IS possible to protect yourself from it to some extent by learning to be more in touch with your feelings and behaviour. If you can learn to understand yourself and your own feelings, you will be better equipped to understand the emotions and feelings that a new relationship can bring.
Whilst it's important to learn from your past, it's just as important not to take it with you into a new relationship.
3. Get Out and About
Not only will getting out and about increase your chances of meeting new people and improve your social life, but it will also help you to feel generally more confident and better about yourself. Why not join a gym, catch up with some of those friends you might have neglected whilst you were in your previous relationship, take up salsa dancing or enrol in evening classes - anything that will get you out and about and enjoying yourself!
4. Learn the Signs of Compatibility
Try to learn to identify the basic signs of compatibility when you meet a potential date.
- Are they fun to be with?
- Are you attracted to them?
- Do you have similar goals and values?
5. Trust Your Instincts
When you're starting a new relationship, make sure that you learn to listen to what your instincts are telling you. If you have any nagging doubts about someone or something just feels wrong, take some time to work out why and see if they can resolve any of your unanswered questions. If you're still not happy, then move on. The more you date, the more finely tuned your instincts will become.
