Sex and Dating
So when is the right time to have sex? Too soon and you may be labelled as 'easy'; too long and you're either seen as frigid or you risk losing your date to another more willing partner because they simply assume you don't find them attractive.
However, if you're looking for something more than just casual sex, then it isn't such a great idea to jump into bed until after a few dates. In many cases, sex is more or less freely available to both men and women - go to any bar or club, and if it's what you're really looking for, you'll probably find it. So if you hold off from having sex right away, you'll immediately make it more special. A guy's basic instinct may be to try to get you into bed, but if he thinks that you might be relationship material, then there'll also be a part of him that wants you to say 'no'. It's worth holding out for a while, especially if you think your date could have what it takes for a serious relationship to develop.
However, if your date is only looking for a quick fling or a one night stand, a refusal will probably make them give up and move on to the next person. Although this may hurt at the time, it's important to remember that if that's the way they were inclined, they would have moved on anyway, so at least you've managed to come out of the situation with your dignity intact.
We asked our readers if they'd ever had a one night stand that they'd regretted the next day? Here's how they responded ...
* No (57%)
* Yes (41%)
* Maybe... not telling! (2%)
Whatever the circumstances, you should only have sex when it feels right for you - when your instinct guides you in that direction and you feel happy, relaxed and comfortable. The reality is that we often need to know a little more about someone before sex feels right. Even if we're not expecting it to lead to a long term relationship, we need to know if we're compatible and whether we think we can make each other feel good. If there's real chemistry there, it will only intensify the more that you get to know each other.
Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule. Of course there'll be people out there who jumped into bed together on their first date and are now happily in love 20 years later. However, you should bear in mind that whilst there probably aren't that many people who regret not sleeping with someone earlier than they did, there are plenty who wish that they'd waited longer ...
