Preparing for a First Date
Arranging the Place
Make sure you arrange your date for a public place, such as a coffee shop or restaurant, and leave the romantic walks or drives in remote places for when you know each other better. Let people know where you'll be and take your mobile phone with you.
Arranging the Time
If you're planning your first date, it's a good idea to arrange to meet for a cup of coffee or lunch, rather than a romantic evening dinner date. Not only is this much safer, because it's in daylight, but if it's an awful date then it will also prevent you both from wasting your time. You'll also be much less likely to drink too much at lunchtime, or be carried away by the romance of a candlelit supper. However, if the date goes well, and you really get on together, then you can plan a different kind of date for the second time you meet up.
Getting Ready
It may sound obvious, but it's important to make an extra effort to look good. It should go without saying that you should make sure that you pay close attention to your personal hygiene and that you try to be as well groomed as possible. Remember body odour and bad breath are an instant turn off, as are dirty nails, hair or shoes.
Wear clothes that are clean, in good condition, and that are flattering to you. Although there's no guarantee that this will make your date any more successful than it was ever going to be, it will give you additional confidence that you look your best.
However, try to avoid wearing clothes that you don't feel comfortable in. If your trousers are so tight that you can't sit down or if you can't walk in that pair of shoes, then have a rethink and choose something else. Remember, you're going on the date to learn about this new person and have fun - two things you won't manage to do if you're thinking about whether your trouser button will burst if you eat anything else, or how much your feet hurt.
First impressions count: it is thought that women take about an hour to decide if someone is worth dating again, whilst men tend to make their mind up quicker - taking just 15 minutes.
Conversation
So what should you talk about on a first date? This may depend on how you met your date and what you eventually want to get out of it, but in general, safe first date topics will include:
- Career: what they do for a living, what they would like to do?
- Travel: where have they been to, and where would they like to go?
- Food and drink: especially if you're eating out - what are their favourite meals, their likes and dislikes?
- Pets: people love talking about their pets (but a warning to the girls - don't talk about your pets as if they are your children - it's very off putting to men).
- Free time: what do they like to do to relax?
- Family: do they have any brothers and sisters?
Topics to avoid include:
- past relationships
- how much you hate your job/family/ex
- your plans to have children in the next 18 months
If you're nervous, try role-playing before the date to calm your nerves. Rehearse how you are going to greet them and the way you are going to behave, either in your mind, in front of the mirror, or with a friend. You'll be amazed at how much more relaxed you are likely to feel, even if you do feel a bit foolish doing it at the time.
