Discover Your Strengths and Weaknesses
If you're keen to join the dating scene, you may have already formed a good idea of the qualities you're looking for in a partner. But have you ever stopped to think about what you have to offer them? The trick to making yourself attractive to others is to learn to recognise your strengths, work on your weaknesses and be the very best person you can be.
Evaluating Yourself
Every once in a while, it's a good idea to stand back and take a good honest look at yourself. By evaluating your personality, appearance and how you react to the world in general, you'll be able to understand what you have to offer a potential partner.
If possible, ask the help of a close friend; preferably one of the opposite sex. It's important that they are someone who can be trusted to be completely honest with you, who you respect and whose opinion you really value.
Ask them some of the following questions; however, you must be prepared to get some answers you might not expect or want to hear. This is meant to be a 'cruel to be kind' exercise, not one for admiration; having said that, you might like to suggest that they don't make their answers TOO harsh!
- Do you think I'm sexy? Where would I be on a scale of 1 to 10? What could I do to improve my rating?
- Do you think I'm attractive? Where would I be on a scale of 1 to 10? What could I do to improve my rating?
- When I'm talking to new people, do I seem overly interested or am I unapproachable? Do I seem relaxed or am I a little hyped-up?
- Do I seem shy or outgoing to you?
- Do I dress well? Do my clothes suit me?
- Am I too passive or too full-on?
- Am I fun to be with?
- Do I flirt? Too much or not enough?
- Am I bright, well-read and interesting?
Whilst this exercise may not be an entirely pleasant experience, it can help you to see yourself from a different perspective. However, if your friend's responses are all complimentary, then they're probably just saying what they think you want to hear and you'll need to try the exercise again with someone else.
Learn to recognise your strengths, work on your weaknesses and be the very best person you can be.
What Do You Have To Offer?
Once you've seen how potential dates might see you, it's time to think about what you have to offer them. Ask yourself (and your friends) the following questions and answer them as honestly as possible:
Are you a positive person?
Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Do you tackle your problems head on or do you complain and whine when things go wrong? Being happy is infectious and will make other people want to be in your company. Negative people simply drive others away.
Are you happy with yourself?
Are you content with your self-image? People with a healthy self-esteem find it easy to attract potential dates and people are keen to become part of their life. Accept compliments with good grace and a smile, not suspicion.
Are you responsive to others?
Are you a good listener? Do you allow people time to talk or do you jump in with your views or comments before they've had a chance to finish?
Do you have aspirations and goals?
Goals are not the same as hobbies; they are the major ambitions that you want to work and aim for to boost your own personal self-esteem. This could be to learn a foreign language, take part in a marathon or run your own business. Having goals reveals that you are an independent person with drive and ambition; these qualities are not only very attractive to other people, but they are also fulfilling for you as a person.
Are you good company?
How are your conversational skills? Are you passionate about your work or a hobby? Can you communicate this without being tedious or boring? Do you ask questions because you have genuine interest in someone else or simply because you want to size them up? Do you have a wide range of topics you can talk about or is the limit of your conversation restricted to what's on TV?
