How Does Internet Dating Work?

Rather than being for sad computer geeks with too much time on their hands, in reality, the Internet is most commonly used by those people who are time-poor and struggle to fit dating around their busy lives. There are several million people out there looking for love on the Internet at any one time, and it is estimated that 50% of single people will meet a partner online. You can set up dates online (maybe even several in one night) and then spend an evening on the web. Just imagine - you won't even need to get changed out of your pyjamas before you log on and start your romantic date.

The reason that Internet dating has caught on so fast is that it allows you to be totally in control of the whole dating situation. You can log on whenever you want and make all of the moves in at your leisure - even in the middle of the night. Even the shyest person can drop someone an email to say hello and look at the details of anyone who has sent an email to them. Send out lots of messages - you know how nice it is to hear that "You've Got Mail" - and just enjoy yourself.

Choosing the Site

It pays to shop around rather than simply registering on just any old dating site. Whether a web site will suit you depends on the type of relationship you seek - some sites are more light-hearted and casual than others, whilst the subscription-based dating sites tend to be more serious matchmakers. Any site requiring users to pay any money up front means that are more likely to attract people who are more serious about meeting someone - it may only be a nominal sum, but people won't even pay that if they are only out for a giggle. Unlike most freebies, fee-paying websites will match your profile with potential partners on the site and may even screen who registers with them. These websites can vary enormously - some will take into account details such as your favourite social activities, your education - even the magazines that you read and your attitude to housework! The more detailed the information requested, the more likely you are to enable the system to find you a match.

Be Honest

As with any other kind of dating, it's best to be honest from the start. There's no point in giving false information about your age, job, smoking and drinking habits, music tastes, sport and social interests, just to attract more people. But make your profile as much fun and as appealing as you can. There's a lot of competition out there!

However, whatever you do - DON'T give out your real name. Adopt a 'cyber handle' to avoid any problems with the handful of 'weirdos' out there. Try and think of a fun name, such as SassyChick, rather than the boring Sue999, or even worse, the provocative MissWhiplash.

Maximising your Chances of Success

Posting a photo on the site will give you a much better chance of receiving replies as well as making your virtual self seem more real. But be warned when looking at other people's photos - not all are what they seem. Some people post photos of themselves that are at least ten years out of date, or worse still, that are not them at all. There are many pictures out there that are obviously taken from model or actor stills. Bear in mind that if they don't post a real photo, then they could be married or in a relationship and don't want to be spotted.

Getting in Contact

Once you have registered, you can check out the photos of literally thousands of people, and e-mail them through the site when they're offline, or message them (often called whispering) when they're online. Or you could wait for them to get in touch with you.

You don't have to respond to any messages you receive of course, but even if you're not interested, it's polite to reply. However, if anyone sends you messages that are offensive in any way, most sites will allow you to block the sender preventing them from getting back in touch with you again.

Time to Meet

Once you've taken a little time to find out about each other and establish if you share any common ground, you could arrange to chat to them on the phone with a view to setting up a date. You should probably do this within the first month, as some people, although quite happy to chat to you, may be reluctant to meet up, maybe because they're really married with kids, or maybe because they don't want to leave the safety of virtual dating. Either way, you need to know, so that you're not wasting your time or energy on them.

Make sure you exercise basic safety precautions and use your instincts wisely when meeting up, and read the safety tips found elsewhere in this section. If you follow the guidelines, and use a reputable site, then dating online is no more dangerous (and maybe even less so) than meeting a stranger in a bar or a club.