Testing Your Self-Esteem

In order to be able to accept praise, we have to believe that we are worthy of it. The more we accept our positive attributes, the more easily we will believe compliments from others. Accepting ourselves involves recognising our positive qualities, admitting our foibles and allowing ourselves to be different.

Self-Esteem Test

The questionnaire below will help you to determine your own level of self-esteem and self-acceptance. Read through the following statements and decide whether you carry them out "Never or rarely", "Sometimes", "Frequently" or "Very Often".

1. I graciously accept compliments and praise instead of being suspicious of them.
2. I am able to assert my needs and wants with family members, colleagues or my partner.
3. I actively pursue and maintain friendships with people I truly like.
4. I am able to accept my vulnerable feelings like sadness, fear or anxiety.
5. When I need comfort, I am able to turn to friends or family and let them know how I feel.
6. I allow myself to make mistakes, realising that we all learn from failure.
7. I recognise and value my need for solitude or 'quiet time'.
8. I am comfortable expressing my angry feelings.
9. I do things which nurture, strengthen and relax my body.
10. I balance my life with pleasure and fun, recognising that I work harder when I am well rested.

How Did You Do?

Give yourself the following points:

• 1 point for every time you answered "Never or hardly at all"
• 2 points for "Sometimes"
• 3 points for "Frequently"
• 4 points for "Very Often"

1-10 Points

You tend to rely heavily on other people's opinions and find it hard to assert yourself in your personal or professional life. You may be prone to rewarding yourself in self-destructive ways, such as overspending or overeating. You are often so anxious to please others that you often ignore your own needs and wants. Make sure that you give yourself plenty of 'me' time: go swimming, read a book, take a walk or just listen to music.

11-20 Points

Although you make sure that you honour your commitments to others, you are often self-critical and overly demanding of yourself and can be quick to blame yourself when things go wrong. Try to be more tolerant of your own mistakes and pay less attention to what others may think. However, the good news is that you often manage to find time for what's important in your life, which should give you a feeling of satisfaction.

21-30 Points

You know who you are and what you need to be happy and you are usually willing to take the time to do something that will fulfil you. You see your strengths but are always trying to work with your weaknesses to improve yourself. You tend to surround yourself with supportive family or friends.

31-40 Points

Congratulations! You have a deeply developed sense of who you are and you make sure that you spend the time to take care of yourself. You are patient and forgiving of yourself and any mistakes you might make. You value your own feelings and respect those of others and have no reservations about turning to family or friends when you are in need of comfort or help. You lead a healthy, well-balanced life.