Increasing Your Self-Esteem

If you have low self-esteem, you may feel that you don't particularly like yourself, and you may feel that you're useless and unattractive. However, you should be very wary about making such all-or-nothing, global judgements; no matter how low your self-esteem may be, there will certainly be things about yourself that you will probably feel are at least 'not too bad'. This could be one or more of many attributes; you might have nice looking hair, be a loyal friend, complete sudoku puzzles with ease, be a good listener, have a wicked sense of humour, be kind and generous... the list is endless. Don't let your unhappiness over one or two of your traits cloud your judgement over your many good qualities.

Accentuating the Positive

It's a good idea to write down a list of all your positive attributes:

• Think of your strengths - what do you find easy to do that others may struggle with? What do you like doing? The chances are you are good at them too.
• What are your likeable qualities? Are you kind? Loyal? Generous? Caring? Dependable? Witty?
• What about the physical things you like about yourself? An attractive smile? Nice eyes? Feet that look pretty in sandals?
• What about things you have done for others?

When compiling your list, avoiding discounting your positive attributes and qualities by thinking "Anyone could do that" or "That's nothing". In making this list, you can start to accentuate the positive, rather than dwell on the negative. Each one of us has something to offer that can be appreciated and enjoyed by someone else. Learning to recognise this is a major step towards improving your self-esteem. Remember, if you value yourself, it makes it much easier for others to value you too.