Flirting Techniques
Getting Noticed
Okay, so maybe you've spotted someone you like the look of and want to flirt with them, but perhaps you aren't quite ready to make the first move.
Once you're relaxed and happy, shoot them a quick glance, catch their eye and then look away again. Try it again a few moments later, only this time, give them a half smile too. If they are swapping the same signals, then it's likely that they're interested in you as well.
Just looking like you're happy and confident is often enough to get you noticed. However, if you're with a group of friends, try not to look like you're having TOO much fun, otherwise the person you're interested in may feel that they'd be breaking up the party by coming over to talk to you.
Opening Moves
Who walks over to who is entirely up to the both of you; whilst it's traditionally the role of the man to make the first move, there's nothing stopping a woman from going up to chat to someone she fancies. However, why not try meeting halfway? It's a daunting prospect for anyone to go up to talk to someone when they're surrounded by a group of friends; move yourself away from your group so that you have a chance to talk on your own; go to the bar, visit the buffet table, investigate an interesting picture on the wall, anything that will indicate that you're willing for them to join you.
Checking the Signals
Once you've finally met and have got the conversation going, there are a number of basic flirting moves that you can use to make sure that you're sending the right signals - and more importantly, to check if they're as interested in you as you are in them!
When talking to someone you're attracted to, try to alternate your gaze between their eyes, and then every so often, drop it down to include their mouth. Spend increasingly longer looking at their mouth so they're in no doubt as to what you're thinking about!
1. Watch Their Eyebrows
Although this technique may sound odd, raising your eyebrows is one of the most instantly recognised non-verbal sign of friendly greeting in the world. Think about it; have you ever been at a crowded party or in a busy pub when you've spotted someone you know, but are too far away to say "Hello"? Instead of shouting across the room, you may find that you raise your eyebrows in greeting to show that you have noticed and recognised them.
When we see somebody we like the look of, we automatically 'flash' our eyebrows briefly - watch out for it carefully, as it only lasts around one-sixth of a second. You can also use this technique to tell someone on a subconscious level that you're interested in them by lengthening the duration of the eyebrow flash - raise your eyebrows for about one second whilst catching their eye to create the greatest impact.
2. Watch Their Eyes
When we see something (or someone) we like the look of, our pupil size increases, as does our rate of blinking. Try increasing the blink rate of the person you're talking to, by blinking more yourself. If they like you, they'll try to match your blink rate, which will make you both feel more attracted to each other.
3. Check Their Positioning
When you're chatting to someone you fancy, take a look to see how they've positioned themselves. When we're attracted to someone, we tend to point at them subconsciously with our feet, hands or arms.
4. Mirror Their Behaviour
Nothing draws two people together more quickly or more effectively than imitating or mirroring each other's behaviour. This is because we are subconsciously attracted to people who are similar to us. If the person you are attracted to leans forward to tell you something, lean in to meet them; if they sit back and take a sip of their drink, do the same.
However, it's important not to simply copy their every move as soon as they make them or you may end up looking like you're making fun of them. Mirror selected gestures only, and wait for about 45 seconds before carrying them out.
5. The Flirting Triangle
When we interact with people that we're not close to, we tend to keep our gaze at eye level, often darting eye to eye and across the bridge of the nose. As our intimacy with a person increases, our look also begins to take in their nose and mouth, our eyes moving in a triangular motion between the three. When we flirt, the size of the triangle increases to take in the body, and we spend more time looking at their mouth. It's very sexy to catch someone looking at your mouth; you can't help but wonder if they're thinking of kissing you... which of course, they probably are!
