Flirting - A Basic Instinct?
Research has shown that flirting may be found (in some form or other) in all cultures and societies around the world. It is a basic instinct that is part of human nature: a courtship device that has evolved to attract and retain sexual partners. Flirting is much more than just a bit of fun: it is a universal and essential aspect of human interaction.
Flirting for Fun
Although we are 'programmed' to flirt in order to attract sexual partners, we can also use flirting on a purely fun level with more or less anyone. A bit of light-hearted flirtatious chat or an exchange of admiring glances can brighten the day, raise self-esteem and strengthen social bonds. Flirtation at this level can be enjoyed as a pleasurable and harmless pastime.
What Makes a Good Flirt?
So why does it seem so easy for some people to flirt? Although, it's often simply down to confidence and self-esteem, the following qualities are generally found in people with an innate ability to flirt:
- A positive and optimistic attitude to life
- A healthy level of self-esteem
- An instinct of knowing what makes other people feel good
- The flexibility to develop a rapport with many different types of people
- An ability to ask questions and listen properly to the answers
- The ability to pick up on other people's reactions to their flirting
- A sense of when to carry flirting on to the next stage and when to stop
- An awareness of their own sexuality and the power of that sexuality
- A way of making people feel comfortable in their company
- A belief in themselves
One of the keys to successful flirting is being able to subtly suggest that you like someone; if they know that you find them attractive and interesting, they will be more inclined to like you. You may have experienced this yourself; if you hear that someone has admired or praised you, your interest in them automatically increases - even if you have never met them!
Developing Your Flirting Skills
Don't worry however if flirting does not come naturally to you; research has shown that flirting is a skill that can be learnt and developed. It's a case of increasing your confidence, having the right attitude and above all, a belief in yourself.
The trick is to get out there and practice; find any excuse to meet and interact with people in a variety of situations, whether it's your next door neighbour, the postman or the person at the checkout till. The essence of flirting is to convey all the best aspects of yourself, so that other people want to know more and are attracted to you. Above all, learn to believe that flirting is fun! For more information on flirting techniques, check out these handy flirting tips.
